To be honest, I did not think I would ever end up watching this movie. After reading a Christian review of the film when it first came out, I wrote it off as an unworthy object of my attention. If a reviewer wrote that the movie "Stone deserves to sink like one" (1), how good could it possibly be? But after my mom watched the movie on DVD (plus all the extras, which is a rare feat), I thought I would give The Family Stone a chance.The Gist of It
The movie revolves around the Stone family, a group of interesting characters to say the least, during a three day Christmas period. The parents, Sybil and Kelly (go ahead and try to figure out which one is the mom and which is the dad) have 5 unique children who fit every characteristic children could have: one is the professional businessman, one a professed freak, another a rebel, one a wife and mother, and one is deaf and gay. The eldest is Everett, the professional, who is bringing his uptight, high-strung, extremely nervous girlfriend, Meredith Morton, to meet his quirky family. They are all predisposed to believe the reports of the rebel Amy that Meredith is a stuck-up, proud, party-pooper. And so the gossip begins. Yet as the time passes and we watch Meredith's interaction with the Stone family, we begin to see not only a tight-knit family but also the attempts of a woman who wants to be accepted by them. Moments in the movie range from moving to the extremely painful, but, by the end, not only is the family circle larger, it is stronger as well.
A Diamond in the Rough
Forgive the cliche but I figured I better stick with the theme. The diamond part of this movie is it's focus on family relations. No one, and I mean no one, in this movie comes off as even a goody-two-shoes. Each character has its issues and flaws which are blazingly apparent. Yet even with flaws, the parents love each one of their children dearly.
For example, the gay/deaf son is welcomed joyously with his partner for Christmas. Some may argue that promoting positively a gay couple is inappropriate and wrong especially for Christians. The Bible does clearly state that homosexuality is a sin and we are not to live in sin. Nonetheless, this does not stop Christians from loving our gay friends or family members any more than it stops us from loving those who deal with other sins. The nonjudgmental love of the Stones was moving. If a family of nonbelievers can have such depth of love, can not Christians have it, if not more?
This movie is a glimpse, a snapshot, into family life. It is taken to an extreme but that is how the points of the story are made. Meredith Morton is an outsider who just needs to relax. As the movie moves on we get to see her relax a little bit. I wish we could have seen it revealed more. We have all felt like an outsider, that no matter what we do it is never good enough or never meets the expectations of those we want to please. Even in trying to understand the different relationships in the family, Meredith comes off the wrong way and is misunderstood. As Ben the "freak" told her, she has a freak flag; she just doesn't fly it.Everett not marrying Meredith isn't going to keep the family intact. When this is realized, a resentment is eased towards Meredith. It also helps that Meredith, for all her striving, buys the best Christmas presents the family needs at this time of death: a beautifully matted and framed picture of Sybil, in the vitality of youth and life pregnant with one of the children. Thus, the family embraces Meredith, grasping that though she is different and is still discovering who she is, she needs a loving family; that their love can help her in this journey.
We are all a bit like Meredith. We strive to do the right thing, to say the right thing, to be the right person in order to please and to be loved by our family, friends and/or others. But that then is not love; it is simply an acceptance based on merit. As Meredith comes to realize, love is not founded on performance. It is unconditional, no matter how well we pull ourselves together, or, don't.
It was God's love for us that saved us; that "while we were still sinners Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). We are then to channel this love to shower on others. Love as I have loved you, Jesus said (John 15:12). Sadly, Stone doesn't recognize this source of their love.The rough part of the film comes from the language and sexual innuendos that lace the dialog. Though a good movie (which had me in tears at the end, a rare feat), it isn't for those who don't want to think about what they are watching. For that type of viewing, I would recommend something along the lines of Veggie Tales.
In the End...
The Family Stone works at showing family relations realistically. Life isn't easy nor are the people in your life but a family that loves each other no matter what will survive, even the most devastating of blows. Nevertheless, our human love is only good to a certain extent and, happily, Meredith gets to experience this love by the end of the film. It is only through God's fullness of love and grace we are saved from the trials of this life and our sinful nature. For those who feel up to the challenge, the movie is a warming picture of family. The film isn't perfect but neither is family life which in some ways enhances the story even more.
--HM
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